Tom Hanks is many, wonderful things to millions of people – mainly one of the most beloved actors in the history of acting. However he is also a Raiders fan, and if there’s one thing all Raiders fans have in common, it’s that they’re ready to set the world on fire and watch it burn at any moment.
Yes. Even Tom Hanks.
As one of the Bay Area’s most famous residents, Hanks was a major draw for a local nonprofits fundraiser at Bimbo’s in San Francisco on Monday. According to the San Francisco Chronicle, the event that raised more than $500,000 also featured a mostly inspiring conversation between Hanks, author and the nonprofits’ founder Dave Eggers and some local students.
However he also took that opportunity to go OFF on the Raiders impending relocation to Las Vegas in an epic rant that any sports fan will appreciate, if not painfully relate to in some form or another.
“When the Raiders leave, I am going on an NFL moratorium for two years.
“You cannot take the Silver and Black, put them in an air-conditioned dome in the desert, make them play on artificial turf within a stone’s throw of the fountains of Caesar’s Palace, and call them the Raiders.
“Here’s the thing I don’t quite understand. And I’m not trying to — this isn’t one of the (many) causes I’m fighting for. I’m just thinking as a fan: It’s a billion-dollar industry, they have billion-dollar TV contracts. All the owners are billionaires. And yet when they want to build a stadium they’re going to use for 10 weeks out of the year, they expect the city taxpayers to buy the building.”
Hold on, he’s not done. I just wanted to pop in and warn you that we’re about to reroute suddenly into baseball.
“The only good thing that is going to come out of the Oakland Raiders leaving — and there is nothing good that will come out of that, by the way — is that the Oakland A’s might get their own ballpark.”
“I must say I hate that frigging D.H. rule. I always have, ever since that bastard Charlie Finley installed it. We’re not proud of that over on the other side of the East Bay.”
So there you have it. Tom Hanks hates greedy NFL billionaires, artificial turf and the designated hitter. BECAUSE HE’S A GODDAMNED AMERICAN. As if people didn’t already love him enough…